LIGHTING DESIGNER / OPERATORS

200 The fucking desk has crashed again!
201 Oh shit I thought this song was <x> not <y>
202 Oh no not this song again. Anyone got a pillow?
203 What do you mean, "The racks are on fire"?!?
204 No you fucking can't switch that Rack off for 5 minutes!
205 NO NO NO! Don't move in front of that light! Arrrrgggh!
206 Which pillock kicked-over the floor cans during changeover?
207 You're all crap. I'm seeing Production straight after the show.
208 I love you all, I'll get you a beer during takedown.
209 I'm not being fucking paid enough to cope with this shit.
210 Fuck me that didn't happen when I pressed that yesterday.
211 Pyros? Pyros? NO! NOT NOW YOU IDIOTS!!
212 How the hell do you program this desk...
213 It isn't working! It isn't working! Oh shit oh shit oh shit!
214 Hmmm? What? Wooops! Missed that again...
216 What the hell is that Cyber/V-L doing!?!
218 I want more lights.
219 The fucking scrollers have gone into disco mode again!
220 The patch is fucked again.
221 Hey look at the gorgous blond standing here! Oh, you can't. Ha Ha.
222 Good show guys, I'm going to the bar.

LIGHTING CREW

223 The LD's fucked-up again.
224 Who rigged this? Its supposed to be straight!
225 Shit! Did you see that bulb blow!
226 Oh look Cybers/V-L <x> is screwed again
227 Hey! Mind that cable...Oh, too late...
228 Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it was less bored than me!
229 Oh I fucking *HATE* this song
230 I'm off to catering.
231 Where *IS* catering today?
232 What's catering?
233 Is that supposed to be smoking like that?
234 Where's my fucking maglite?
235 Who wants to crawl across the back of stage today?
236 Well *I* didn't touch the fucking patch!
237 Look at that one! Where's that spare pass?!?
238 Fucking take-down and the LD's ponced-off again.

FOLLOWSPOTS
239 Oh shit, you numbered them in *THAT* direction!
240 I thought *HE* was the lead guitar!
241 I can't hold it any steadier!
242 Shit the shutter's jammed again!
243 I thought *I* was spot 4!
244 How fucking long is this show?
245 Look mate, you come up here and try and do it better!
246 Get that fucking light out of my eyes!
247 Shit its really hot up here!
248 Look at the really cute one in the white top near the front.
249 I need a piss! I forgot a bottle! Help!

RIGGERS
250 No! Not in the chain-bag!
251 Well it was straight this morning.
252 What do you mean, you can't find a fucking 2m spanset?
253 This shackle is fucked.
254 We need another rigger.
255 I'm doing it as fast as I fucking can!! Get off my back!!
256 Look, I'm first up and last to bed, so fuck you.
257 It won't take that.
258 Send the cute one out to the bus.
259 Shit! The rig is hanging from the cable-pick again!

SOUND

260 Where's the fucking feedback coming from?
261 No no no! Sing *INTO* the mic, arsehole!
262 Don't stick that in the wedge!
263 Aggggrrhh! Another trashed mic.
264 These speakers need re-triming. Now. I don't care its mid-show.
265 We need to test every speaker tommorrow.
266 I wish I had better mics/speakers/desk.
267 *I* can play better than that.
268 Well I don't think its too loud.
269 No I haven't got a fucking spare output.
265 How the does one of these units work?
266 Shit! Missed the DAT running-out again.
267 I'm too good for this.
268 I hate this venue.
269 Where's the way out of catering?
270 Does that 7am call include *us*?
271 No I can't move that.
272 Oooohhhhh...look at *that* one...
273 Well, *we* got our gear out in half an hour!

STAGE MANAGER

274 Where's the fucking band gone?!?
275 2 minutes guys. Honest. This time I promise.
276 We need more light back here!
277 Lights! Lights! Go! Go!
278 Sound! Sound! Switch it on!
279 No No, not yet they want to...oh shit, too late...
280 I'll be in catering.
281 I'll be in production.
282 Special announcement guys, don't pack-up yet.
283 Anyone want these flowers?
284 Hmmm, look at... <click>
285 Ok guys lets do a quick one tonight.

PRODUCTION M